A Man with a Plan

This happened a few years ago, and it´s kind of a funny story more than a creepy story. I was out power walking one warm summer night, messy hair, sweaty and wearing my work out clothes, there was no doubt about what I was up to, when a guy on a scooter pulls up and asks if I need a ride. I look at him and politely decline, while I keep walking. He starts slowly driving his scooter alongside of me and goes: Are you sure? I´ve got an extra helmet!
I´m sure, thanks but no thanks! I reply, still polite.
Ok, then can I have your number?
No, you can´t!
Why? Do you have a boyfriend? Come on, give me your number!
Sorry, no!

I keep walking and he actually gives up and drives off.
The next night, I´m walking to work when a guy on a scooter pulls up and asks if I need a ride. I look at him and realize, it´s the same guy, again!! I politely decline, again!!!
He starts slowly driving his scooter alongside of me and goes: Are you sure? I´ve got an extra helmet!
I´m thinking, is this guy kidding me?! He doesn´t recognize me from his lame ass pick up routine from the night before??
I go; I´m sure, not thanks!
Ok, then can I have your number?
No.
Why? Do you have a boyfriend?

Ok, this was when I had just recently moved to Spain and my spanish wasn´t good enough at the time to tell him what I was really thinking, so in the end I just settled for telling him that yes, I did have a boyfriend, like that would be the only reason I would ever reject such a charming catch as himself… So he gave up and drove off.

The story gets even better when a few days later, one of my girlfriends tell me that when she was walking home from the open air cinema earlier that week a guy had showed up on a scooter and offered her a ride down the long hill. She had accepted, but the guy didn´t have an extra helmet with him, so the police stopped them and gave the guy a fine and my friend was left to walk the rest of the way. My guess is the guy learned from his mistakes and started bringing an extra helmet with him for his late night prowls.

”I have no sympathy for whores” Why Feminism is still needed – Part 1

Ok everyone, grab yourself a second cup of coffee and maybe a snack, cause this is going to be a long one! I have on more than one occasion been in discussions with people who feel like feminism is no longer needed because we live in a modern society where women have the same opportunities/rights as men. It´s true that we´ve come a long way, those of us who live in the welfare countries of western society, thanks to our feminist grandmothers who worked their butts off getting us the right to vote, to drive a car, to wear pants, the right not to be owned by the man we marry ecc. However misogyny still very much exists, just in a different form. Most of us are so used to it that we don´t even recognize it for what it is. Every Sunday I will take a break from my usual street harassment posts and instead post a new part in my ”why feminsm is still needed” series. Not only will I give you the reasons, I will also explain why feminism is your friend, not your enemy, and that goes for both men and women. There´s a common misunderstanding that feminists hate men, we don´t, we hate the patriarchal structures of society. Feminism loves men, in fact we love men and women equally!

So here it goes, Why Feminism is still needed – Part 1:

Rape Culture

rape-culture

What happened in Steubenville last year was a horrible shocking example of what we call rape culture. If we look past the horrifying details of the victim being dragged around unconscious and referred to as ”the dead girl”, all the tweeting, the facebooking and the bystander effect, this isn´t a rare exception, it´s a common mentality in our average society. A woman gets raped, and immediately the following questions are raised: What was she wearing? Had she been drinking? Did she really say no? Are you sure she didn´t actually want it? Wasn´t she kind of asking for it, drinking and then going home with that guy she barely knew? Poor guy, he didn´t stand a chance with her acting all drunk and slutty right there in front of him, and then when she suddenly changed her mind, whatever her reasons were, we all know guys can´t just stop in the middle of expecting sex, he had no choice, he had to rape her! And now his whole career is ruined because of that drunken temptress of a woman! According to society men aren´t thinking intelligent human beings, they are testosterone driven animals who go out of control at the sight of female flesh. Men are dumb neanderthals and women are just devilish whores.

Why we need feminism: Feminists believe that both men and women are intelligent thinking people. Short skirts and alcohol don´t cause rape, men in general don´t cause rape, a woman having consentual sex with 300 men doesn´t cause rape, RAPISTS cause rape. Feminism wants to end the victim blaming. Nobody would ask a victim of a robbery if he wasn´t walking around with his wallet visble in his pocket while walking down the street in a suspicious neighbourhood, and therefor maybe it was his own fault for tempting the robbers… Rape is a crime, just like robbery, murder, assault, and the only one who should be held responsible is the perpetrator.

I want to share a story with you, from my own life, something that happened to me when I had recently been dumped and was utterly heart broken. I went out drinking with my friends one night and I met a guy, he was cute and flirty and I needed some non-constructive terapeutical drunken sex with a stranger, in an attempt to move on from my ex. So I went home with him. We were on his bed, both half naked and making out, when suddenly my drunken brain travels to my ex, who had recently ripped out and stomped on my heart, and my whole body just shuts down, and my eyes tear up. The guy I´m with notices this immediately, stops what his doing and asks; are you okay? I say; no, I´m sorry, I have to go! He gets up, helps me find my clothes while asking if there´s anything he could do for me, then he walks me to the door and says; I´m sorry you´re not feeling well, I´d really like to see you again, here´s my number, if you want to, call me. Then we say goodbye and I go home, and that was it! Stranger guy, drunken girl, no rape! True story! This is what I believe normal men act like, and so should the rest of society. Don´t blame the victims, don´t blame men, blame the rapists!

Thank you for reading!

Grandpa…?

Last night when I was walking from my one job to my other job, I was waiting to cross the street, tired and deep in my own thoughts, I´m looking at the cars coming from the right, waiting… As I turn my head to the left I´m met by an old man´s face coming at me at about two meters distance, making a big kissing face with the loudest kissing noise I´ve ever heard, I twitched and almost jumped backwards at the sight of this grandpa´s surprising expression of “affection”. It must have looked so funny, I wish someone had filmed it.

funny-cat-scared-meme

The Midnight Stalker

So I was walking home from work as usual, it´s the middle of the night, and about two blocks from my house the streets get very empty. I live in a nice very quiet neighbourhood so this is nothing unusual at this hour. Suddenly a guy appears on my left side. Hey! Where are you going? What´s your name?
I try the old ”ignoring him until he goes away” trick, but it doesn´t work. He keeps walking next to me. Why aren´t you talking to me? He keeps repeating this question until I give up and answer; because I don´t want to talk to you!!
You don´t want to talk to me? He replies. But I want to talk to you, I just want to get to know you better!
I go back to ignoring him and start walking faster, but he just keeps following me, for the next two blocks! I even cross the street during a red light, running out in between driving cars to get rid of him. Unfortunately he just waits for all the cars to pass and then runs to catch up with me. Just when I turn a corner and I´m about to reach the door to my building he stops. He shouts; ok, bye!!! And he finally gives up and walks away.

Stop Telling Women to Smile

In a project titled “Stop Telling Women to Smile,” Brooklyn-based artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh places portraits of women in public spaces, encouraging victims of gender-based street harassment to fight back.

baby

Read more about this awesome art project here:
Stop telling women to smile
or here:
Huffington post

Construction workers part 15 375

It´s been a slow couple of days street harassment wise. Saturday I was happy to be able to get to and from work without having my appearance rated even once by a random stranger. It was nice. Sunday I was too exhausted to even leave the house, so it was a quiet day too.
This morning I was walking to the vet to pick up some medicine for my cat. On my way there, I was first called Beautiful!!! by a man passing me in a mini van, followed by a construction worker making kissing noises at me. Nothing extraordinary, just some basic cat calling.

The Paparazzi Tourist

I was on my way home, just got out of the metro and was waiting to cross the street. (Being held up by traffic really makes you an easy target by the way.) It´s just me and this guy standing there. He looks like your stereotypical tourist, blonde hair, camera in hand, short sleeved shirt, shorts, sandals with socks (why do people do that? Sorry, not judging anyone, I´m pro people wearing whatever they want and not giving a fuck, this just strikes me as a bit, I don´t know, warm? It´s Spain and like 30°C outside!) Anyway! At one point I accidentally glanced over at him and I noticed him staring at me, intensely, with a somewhat creepy smile on his face. His arms were just hanging down straight, trying to disguise the fact that he´s aiming his camera at me trying to take a picture. And if you think I´m being paranoid, it was obvious that´s what he was doing. He kept moving his hand that was holding the camera trying to get the right angle while he kept staring at me with his scary stalker eyes. I was so shocked my first instinct was just to turn my back towards him, and then luckily the lights changed and I could run across the street.